Ok. That's it. I just want to whine now.
I don't want to do this anymore. Can I get a court order for eviction of my unborn child? You! Get out!
Enough all ready.
I just want all of the following:
-to tie my shoes without a sharp pain in my crotch when I bend over.
-to not have constriction marks on my ankles from my socks because my feet are too swollen.
-to not snore like a lumberjack (sorry, if you happen to be a lumberjack)
-to be able to roll over in bed without a hoist and pulley system
-to shave my own unmentionable area (thank you honey, but you're terrible at this)
-to sleep for more than 1 hour straight
-to sit for more than 20 minutes without feeling like I've been sitting on a battle axe
-a fucking glass of wine
-no more hot flashes
-to stay up past 9pm like a big girl
-for gas to just pass through my bowels without getting stuck and causing pain in the region of 8 out of 10
-to put my rings back on
-to not lose feeling in my hands if I forget to hold them in just the right position for a couple of minutes
For everything to just suck less I guess.
I'm sure all pregnant women go through this stage, where they just want it to be over.
Yes, I know that whining about it won't make it go any quicker.
Makes me feel a little better though....