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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Meh!!!

Ok.  That's it.  I just want to whine now. 

I don't want to do this anymore.  Can I get a court order for eviction of my unborn child?  You! Get out!

Enough all ready. 

I just want all of the following:

-to tie my shoes without a sharp pain in my crotch when I bend over.

-to not have constriction marks on my ankles from my socks because my feet are too swollen.

-to not snore like a lumberjack (sorry, if you happen to be a lumberjack)

-to be able to roll over in bed without a hoist and pulley system

-to shave my own unmentionable area (thank you honey, but you're terrible at this)

-to sleep for more than 1 hour straight

-to sit for more than 20 minutes without feeling like I've been sitting on a battle axe

-a fucking glass of wine

-no more hot flashes

-to stay up past 9pm like a big girl

-for gas to just pass through my bowels without getting stuck and causing pain in the region of 8 out of 10

-to put my rings back on

-to not lose feeling in my hands if I forget to hold them in just the right position for a couple of minutes

For everything to just suck less I guess. 
I'm sure all pregnant women go through this stage, where they just want it to be over. 
Yes, I know that whining about it won't make it go any quicker.
Makes me feel a little better though....

1 comment:

  1. Hahaa "a fucking glass of wine!!" Truth lady! I couldn't wait for that! Hope it happens soon!

    ReplyDelete

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Shouldn't You Be Working by Bethany Davenport is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.