Ok. I'm stressed out. My wedding date is in 24 days. 24...freaking...days!!
I've been planning this wedding for a year and a half so, really, mostly everything is planned and there isn't really all that much to do in the grand scheme of things.
But it feels like I have so much to do. It feels like I'm so busy. I have to make 100 cake pops. Tie 100 chair bows. Fill out 100 place cards. Get the marriage certificate. Order the replacement cake serving set because the first one was defective (uuugghhh). And on, and on......
I'm also really, really nervous. Every time I look at the calendar, I get jitters in my tummy. And I have no idea why. I have had two people ask me, when I mentioned being nervous, if I was having second thoughts. Really?!?! Fuck you. No I'm not having second thoughts. I'm stressed about the wedding, not the marriage. Am I excited? I'm excited for it to be over. I'm wondering why the hell we didn't just elope in the first place.
Last night, we took our first dance lesson. We had both had very long days. Fiance Face had work related stress, and I had wedding and family related stress. So by the time we get there we are both biting our nails and pulling out our hair by the roots.
To give this a little back story.....Fiance Face absolutely did not want to take dance lessons. My mother (bless her) purchased a lesson package for us as a surprise. He wasn't happy to find out that he was expected to dance. To do more than just hold my waist and rotate in a circle like we were at a freaking 8th grade school dance.
So, we meet our dance instructor.....Xavier (name has been changed to protect the innocent). He's adorable. He's happy and chipper. I heart him. He starts out teaching us a very simple step that we are to attempt to repeat, in time to the music, over and over again without stomping on each others toes. Did I mention I'm wearing giant stripper heels under my wedding dress?
We actually did just fine. As a musician Fiance Face has rhythm, and I already knew I could dance. I just didn't know how to dance with him. The biggest problem we had was that I was having the hardest time just letting him lead. I kept wanting to make him do things. To turn him this way, step over here....etc. Which was ridiculous. He can step to the left as well as I can.
I think this is a metaphor for our relationship.
By the end of the lesson, we were both laughing, smiling, and happy. All the tension and stress had just melted the fuck off of us. It was like magic. I want to dance every day.
But, at a risk of losing anyone that might read this because they think I'm funny, it made me look at all of this differently. It made me remember why I'm getting married. The flowers, and the dresses, and the freaking cake pops aren't important. I'm getting married because I want to be with him forever. So as long as that is the end result, then the wedding can't possibly be a disaster. I think I just fixed myself. =)