Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Here's to Fiancé-Face

So I really love Fiancé-Face right now.  I’m going to leave out all of the details that make our house look like a horrible place to raise children, and just cut to the chase. 

Last night, Fiancé-Face did something I didn’t even kind of, a little bit, ever expect him to do.  He stuck up for me.  Ok, this sounds like a given trait in a man that says he likes you enough to put up with you until you can both afford divorce lawyers.  But I’ve never been the “I’ll sick my man on you!!” type of girl. 

I’m way more likely to just walk up to the offending party myself and punch him in the spleen. 

Let’s just say, last night someone was being…..well, disrespectful would be a dramatic understatement.  There was some offensive language, and some yelling, and even a few choice hand gestures.

Don’t get me wrong…..I returned all of the above.  I’m no pacifist.

Right about at the point where my next move was likely to be something violent, Fiancé-Face stepped up to the plate.

He was the bigger man about it.  (Bigger than the other man involved….I’m actually a girl.  Just thought I’d clarify.)  Here’s a paraphrased rundown of how this went:

Fiancé-Face:  Hey, you need to stop talking to the love of my life in such a manner.

Offending Party: Fuck you

FF: I’ll knock you the fuck out.

(ok, only the last part of what FF said was accurate, but you get the gist.)

And this is when the other person waved a knife at my daring protector.  He’s not stupid.  That was enough of that.  Someone else disarmed the Offender, and Fiancé-Face told him, rather creatively, to fuck off and die.

After all this was over, I say to my knight in shining armor, “thank you”.  He asks me what I’m thanking him for. 

Me: “For sticking up for me.  You didn’t have to, but you did.  And I really love you for it.” ::Bats big, adoring, sparkly eyes at him::

FF:  “It wasn’t a big deal”

Me:  “But you could’ve been STABBED!!”

FF:  “You’re definitely being dramatic.”

Me:  “My Hero!”

So, Fiancés are good for something besides being used as human furniture (more on this later)  He’s the best ever.  No, you can’t have him.  He’s mine.  Please note above reference to being punched in the spleen.

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Shouldn't You Be Working by Bethany Davenport is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.