Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Ignorance is Just Ignorance


There is way too much personal information in this post.  If that bothers you, hit your back button!!




I have completely lost faith in the human race.  Well, maybe just in this new crop of young adults.  I swear, they're all idiots.  I really don't remember being a complete idiot when I was in my late teens/young adulthood.  On the contrary, I thought I was a genius; that my parents were idiots; and that I was destined to save the world.  I was much deeper than I am now, and I used much bigger words.




Now I'm a mother of two (sometimes are fucking children) who just wants to try like hell to keep her house clean-ish (note the key words there), not screw up my children in my attempts to raise them (so far so good I think), keep the bills paid enough to keep them from calling me, and to have a little time to herself (which never happens), and actively tries not to use the phrase "OMG" when speaking out loud.  I vote in presidential elections only, I don't do any volunteer work, and I don't even watch the news because I don't want to know.

So, back to the point…..and the TMI.  I was looking up home remedies for yeast infections this morning.  Yes, I have a yeast infection.  It’s all itching, burning horribleness and I just want to cut off my lady bits.  But that is not the point.

In my research, I kept coming across web forums where stupid girls are discussing their vagina problems. 

“I had unprotected sex with a guy I barely knew and now I have itching and discharge….could it be a yeast infection?  Also, he didn’t ejaculate in me…does that matter?”

She goes on to say that her vajay-jay itched and burned for 3 weeks and then seemed to be all better.  So she slept with her ex-boyfriend and now it is troubling her again.  Now there are little white bumps.  She doesn’t want to go to the doctor because her ex doesn’t know she slept with the other guy.

WTF!?!  Go to the doctor you stupid ass.  Better yet…before you go to the doctor have someone cauterize your snatch so nothing can go in or out and save the human race from the unfortunate possibility of you conceiving and spawning another fucking moron.

And worse, this was not the only such post.  Girls all over the place are asking the internet what is wrong with their cha chas.  The common response seemed to be “no one here is a medical professional, go to the doctor” so at least someone has some sense.  What would cause a person to turn to the internet? 

I know…I was, myself, asking the internet for yeast infection treatments.  But I have had a number of yeast infections, and thus know what I was dealing with.  I just wasn’t interested in stuffing chemicals in my snatch, so thought maybe there was a holistic solution.

I had to sit through health class in high school.  There was a sex ed portion, where I learned about my snatch and what it might do and when.  Of course, I also learned that condoms are a good idea, but hey, to each his own….std.

“He didn’t ejaculate in me, does that matter?”

Yes dear, the only possible way for you to have contracted a yeast infection is for your barely known suitor to cum inside you during unprotected sex. 

Does it make me a very bad person to hope she gets something deadly?  I guess maybe I’m harsh, but you really can’t fix stupid. 

Let’s just say, for a minute, that you aren’t an idiot and that you have an irritation below the belt.  Maybe you aren’t sure what it is, but haven’t had a chance to go to the doctor.  Maybe you’re looking for some information, which is something the world wide web excels at providing.  Would you: (A) Look up possible maladies on a site such as WebMD?  Or (B) Just ask whoever feels like answering in a forum?

Do you think these people feel like they’re confiding in friends when they do shit like this?  I guess I just don’t understand. 

I’m not my parents.  I grew up with a computer.  I had Windows 3.1 and thought AOL was the shit.  I used to talk in chat rooms all night and pretend I was much older than I was.

I just feel like the lack of actual human interaction these kids have because they’re too zoned into their phone or tablet or laptop is reducing the IQ of the general populous as a whole.  All of this tech is actually making us dumber.


Don’t worry sunshine, someday you’ll be able to just scan your snatch with your phone and an app will make a diagnosis and email a prescription to your pharmacy.  Or maybe 3D print the medicine for you right there??  But we aren’t there yet.  You still have to go to your doctor when your promiscuous ways bring the clap. 

PS - according to the correct spelling is "vajayjay", although does not recognize this as an actual word.  ::wink::

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Shouldn't You Be Working by Bethany Davenport is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.