Turkey and Disappointment

(picture courtesy of http://gobbl.us/)

I have no idea what I was thinking.  I have 13 people coming to my house to eat food tomorrow.  This is completely ridiculous.  Thank GOD that most of Husband's family cancelled.  Not that I don't want to see them. Just that four more people would require a third dining table.  Two is plenty.

We usually do Thanksgiving at my mother's house.  My Aunt and Uncles and Cousin join us, and we all cram around their dining room table, unable to eat without elbowing one another, while we look down at the whelping box full of month old puppies that's right next to the table.  They're all cute and stuff, but they shit everywhere and, well, it's not such a nice aroma to go with the stuffing and mashed potatoes.

For the last couple of years I've had to bounce between my parents and Husband's parents.  Go eat some dinner at 1:00 at his father's girlfriend's house, then go try to eat again at my mother's at 4:00.

In an attempt to consolidate everyone, and make it so I don't have to try to stuff down two separate Thanksgiving dinners, I suggested we celebrate at our house this year.  I've done this before, so I really don't know why I thought it was a good idea again.  Maybe I have family gathering amnesia, kind of like labor amnesia that women get between kids.  You only do it again because you don't really remember how much pain was involved.

What that means



Guests:
My parents
My brother
My sister, her boyfriend, their daughter
Our roommate
My aunt & uncle
My other uncle
My grandmother
His father
His sister & her baby daughter
(For those who are counting, that's 13 guests.  This doesn't include myself, husband face, or my daughter)

I bought a 21lb turkey.  I actually got the thing for $10 because I'm awesome.  It was the largest turkey they had in the store.  My mother is determined that 21lbs is not enough to feed 16 people.  Maybe she's right.  So she bought another 15lb turkey that she will cook at her house and bring over.

My father is making the stuffing.  He's the stuffing king.  Sausage and celery and chicken broth and who the hell knows what else.  His stuffing rocks.  So he's going to make the stuffing in the morning, stuff his turkey, then bring the rest over to my house so I can stuff my turkey.

I'm making the mashed potatoes.  I also decided today that we should have butternut squash.  Because I'm a glutton for punishment.......and squash.  Since I'm cooking the turkey (or one of them anyway) I'm probably going to have to do the gravy.

My mother is making the green bean casserole.  My aunt is bringing the yams and cranberry sauce.  My grandmother is bringing the rolls.  My father-in-law and sister-in-law are bringing the pie.  My sister is bringing soda. 

That does it right?  Plenty of fucking food?  I actually have issues with serving food.  I'm always horribly afraid that I haven't made enough.  I have a horrible fear of running out of food at a gathering and everyone looking at me like I'm a shitty hostess.

On top of all of the cooking and serving and dishes I will have to do, I have to super clean my house tonight and tomorrow.  Having 7 dogs does not make for a consistently clean house.  I swear that the only reason my husband puts up with having some kind of major get-together at my house nearly once a month is that I'm going to clean like a champ in preparation.

I have to go buy a couple of table cloths.  My dining room table has been painted on, scratched, glued, and otherwise maimed in a number of ways.  My kitchen table has a leaf in it that I intend to make use of.  This leaf is maybe 5 shades lighter than the rest of the table due to never, ever using it.

I have to figure out where to put the mangy mutts.  They make horrible dinner guests.

I've done this before, so I really don't know why I thought it was a good idea again. Maybe I have family gathering amnesia, kind of like labor amnesia that women get between kids. You only do it again because you don't really remember how much pain was involved.

Wish me luck.

(Side note:  to find the picture above, I googled "retarded turkey". The 13th result was a picture of Eminem.  Ah ha ha ha ha)

Update:  I checked out the website I stole the picture from.  It's actually kinda nifty.